Mum just got off the phone with a gigantic grin on her face and she says to me. " On the first week of the holidays Carol, Ian and the rest of them will be coming." Carol is mum's friend.
Inside of me my whole body lifted up and on my face was a great big smile.I'm thrilled, I feel bubbly inside I feel like I can float up and touch the sky. I can't wait till they arrive it's almost like I am flying.
By Caitlin
Great work Caitlin!
ReplyDeleteI like how you told us how you were feeling by using adjectives, It sounds like you were REALLY excited!
I think that maybe you could work on your ending because it sounds like there's supposed to be more.
-Hannah :)
Great story you used really cool adjetives
ReplyDeleteNice adjectives and language Caitlin
ReplyDeleteAWESOME work Cat I really liked yor adjetives you should work on yor ending it could be a little bit mor better other than that great work.
ReplyDelete:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
I can tell how excited you are by the idea of these people coming. Maybe you could say "Mum's friend, Carol..." rather than adding that she is your mum's friend at the end of that paragraph. I just love your second paragraph because I can feel your happy anticipation. I think you could use that writing technique in other writing.
ReplyDeleteThis is an awesome piece of writing Caitlin,your style and technique are way better than mine.Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeletelove Dad
Great work Caitlin
ReplyDeletecool adjectives Cat make the ending better though.
ReplyDelete